handsome friend is neil patrick harris

Handsome Friend is Neil Patrick Harris' Secret to Gettin the Ladies

Of all the letters we get here at the hamhock plant, the most common

is "How do I avoid being attacked by pirates?" but after that, the

next most common question is "How can I reel in the hos like NPH?" And

so, we contacted Neil for a quick interview so you can get it straight

from the source:

The Gilded Moose: NEIL! What's up. Sorry about that whole Bennigan's

mix-up. I thought you meant the Bennigan's at Fox Towne Centre not the

one in Twin Dove Landing.

Neil Patrick Harris: No worries. We'll always have our time spent at

Red Lobster.

TGM (high-five) You know it, girl! So. I wanted to ask you, How do you

keep reelin' in the fish cakes?

NPH: One word: Axe Body Spray.

TGM: Really? Does that work? I always thought it smelled like one of

those Gotti children. Not that I've ever smelled them (ok, once) but

that's what I imagine they smell like.

NPH: Axe Body Spray and have another hot guy friend with you at all

times.

TGM: Hmm. I never thought about that. I mean, I have Walter but he

has, you know, that hump thing.

NPH: No seriously. It works. Do EVERYTHING with your new man friend.

Cook meals. Buy flowers. Dine with Oprah. Everything. The bitches will

be flocking before you know it.

TGM: Gayle too? Do you eat with Gayle?

NPH: Hellz no, fool.

TGM: Ok, I was worried there for a sec, you know how I feel about

Gayle. So that's it: Axe Body Spray and an attractive friend. Anything

else?

NPH: I own a pool filled with Baracuda's. For some reason that seems

to work too.

TGM: I already have one of those and it's brought me nothing but

chewed off fingers.

NPH: Well, everyone's different. But if you want to throw down like

Neil, you gotsta' pack mad baracuda.

TGM: Ok, cool. Well my bus is here so I better get going. See you and

David for 'endless shrimp' next Tuesday!