i kissed dating goodbye ten years later

Joshua Harris and I Kissed Dating Goodbye--Ten Years Later

It was about ten years ago that I Kissed Dating Goodbye took American

by storm. I had a full-time job as a drug rehab counselor and was

pursuing graduate studies in theology. I didn't hear about his book

when it came out--even if I had, extra reading just wasn't on my

agenda.

I didn't read the book until I came to the Philippines. Some of my

students had read it and I figured I needed to give them an informed

opinion. I have to say that I was pleasantly surprised. The book was

not nearly as "anti dating" as the title suggested. I read Boy Meets

Girl and Not Even a Hint not long after--these books also impressed

me.

While I don't agree with Joshua Harris on everything, I really

appreciate what he has done. His books have made some extremely

important points:

*Dating/courtship should be preparation for marriage.

*Sexual purity matters.

*Intimacy should only be as deep as the level of commitment.

*Being single has unique advantages in serving God.

Josh wasn't the first to make these points, but he was incredibly

effective at communicating them to his readers.

The major "problem" I have with I Kissed Dating Goodbye has nothing to

do with the book itself--it is the way people have applied it. Instead

of treating it as one man's journey, some treat it as the ultimate

authority on Christian relationships. Here's a recent quote from

Josh's blog:

I am often asked if I still agree with what I wrote in my first book I

Kissed Dating Goodbye. The answer is that I do, but I'm quick to state

that I've never claimed that the ideas I share in it are for everyone,

nor that my book is or should be the final word on Christian

relationships. The book is simply me at 21 years old sharing my

personal journey of learning to honor God with romance and

relationships.

I also add that, while I stand by what I wrote, I don't always like

the way other people represent or champion the concepts I've written

about. Sadly, there have been many times that people have applied its

principles in a very legalistic and heavy-handed way. Some people have

had my book forced on them or have been treated as though agreeing

with me is the only option for Christians. If you're one of those

people, I apologize. That certainly wasn't my intention when I wrote

it.

I would encourage singles to read books from Joshua Harris, Grace

Dousel (True Love Weds), yours truly (if you need something to help

you sleep), and other authors. Just keep in mind that the Bible itself

is the only final authority. Please use God's word as the guide for