for 2 DEC 06: SPOT THE DUMMY
(BLOGGER'S NOTE: You may find this item humorous, serious, or a little
of both - but we offer these thoughts from time to time, as we keep a
seventh-day Sabbath.)
Whatever happened to the Crash Test Dummies? Not the rock band - I
mean, the talking "dummies" who preached safe driving habits for
years. They seem to have disappeared. And they haven't shown up in any
videos from Iraqi insurgent groups.
I may have been in the company of dummies, at an event the other
night. At least, that's what one woman in the group said. She referred
to a nearby table as "the dummy table." And to make things clear - no,
we were NOT playing bridge.
There was nothing noticeable to me which made it stand out as a "dummy
table." But the woman left no doubt about what she meant - explaining
two male relatives were sitting there. You can tell nowadays which
women never watch Dr. Phil McGraw, or read his books.
"Is there a reason why you're saying that?" I finally asked the woman,
after she used the words "dummy table" for at least the third time.
"If you knew them, you'd understand," the woman answered. But from the
label she put on her relatives, I'm not sure I wanted to know them -
unless I had a financial scam I wanted to pull.
As far as I know, this woman was sober. But her words struck me as
seriously out of line -- especially in the presence of a total
stranger like me. If she was a pro football player calling out her
coach, maybe I could understand it....
Some people have accused me of picking on my pastor at church too much
here. But he DOES have good qualities. In all the years I've heard him
preach and speak, he's never told a joke putting down his wife. He
would call himself a dummy, long before labeling his wife as one. He's
never even called her the "old lady" - which could be because he's
older than she is.
My pastor has never called attention to how he speaks about his wife.
But I've certainly noticed it -- especially compared with other
preachers and speakers I've heard. I'd like to think this is a husband
showing love for his bride. At least, he's smart enough to realize you
don't put down your spouse when people can quote your words back to
her.
I believe my pastor's example is right, while the woman talking about
the "dummy table" was not. The safe driving announcements used to say,
"You can learn a lot from a dummy." Sometimes you also can learn a lot
from the people calling other people dummies, too. You might even come
to a different conclusion about whom the REAL dummy is.
COMING SUNDAY: An "aftertaste" about West Point water....
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-- posted by Richard at 11:01 PM
1 DEC 06: SPAM IN MY DRINK
It's always struck me as strange - how Columbus was the home for years
of Coca-Cola creator John Pemberton, yet has become famous today as an
"RC town." For you younger readers: this occurred back when R.C. did
NOT stand for radio-controlled.
SPAM-A-RAMA: We're thinking about cola because of a surprising e-mail
promotion we received the other day. First of all, it claimed to come
from Coca-Cola's Hong Kong office -- not from Atlanta. You know
outsourcing is out of hand when giveaways are based halfway around the
world.
The promotion wasn't even offering me a trip to Asia. Here's part of
what it said:
THE COCA COLA COMPANY Hong Kong office is Giving Away 1 cars For
"FREE"!! And cash bonus of $800,000.00
The Company is trying e-mail to e-mail advertising to introduce its
products.
The reward you received for advertising for them is a Mercedes-Benz,
ML class jeep convertible free of cost! Including cash prize of
$800,000,00
I mentioned this offer to a co-worker Thursday night, and he was ready
to jump all over it. In his words: "Who do I have to kill?"
The e-mail offer went on to promise that I would receive my "free car"
within a month. A convertible in Columbus in late December?! This warm
spell can't possibly last that long....
But admittedly, I was a little skeptical of this e-mail. For one
thing, when was I ever "advertising" for Coca-Cola? When we tried to
start Power Frisbee months ago, we didn't even get an offer from
Wham-O to provide free discs.
The line about Coca-Cola trying "e-mail to e-mail advertising" has
some truth to it. Some bottle caps have code numbers which you enter
on a "Coke Rewards" web site to receive prizes. You give them an
e-mail address as part of the deal -- but when the products and prizes
are dominated by free ring tones, it doesn't exactly thrill me.
All I had to provide "Coca-Cola Asia" to get my free car was a name,
snail mail and e-mail addresses, phone number -- plus my occupation.
I'm not sure why my workplace should matter. Unless, that is, I was
"advertising" Coke simply by punching out a can from an office vending
machine.
But why should I send an e-mail all the way to Coca-Cola's Hong Kong
office, I said to myself, when the world headquarters is only 100
miles away? The next thing you know, couples in Georgia will go all
the way to Russia to adopt babies and.... oh wait....
So I called the main office of Coca-Cola in Atlanta - and sure enough,
my skepticism was confirmed. This e-mail is another example of an
online scam known as "phishing." One of these days, the rock band
Phish is going to sue these scammers for ruining its reputation.
A woman with Coca-Cola customer service read an obviously prepared
statement, saying the company is investigating where these bogus
offers started. If these scoundrels are found, I'm sure Coke is
prepared to act - by providing a lengthy list of Pepsi e-mail
addresses.
The woman who read the Coca-Cola statement included what's become a
classic cliche: "If an offer sounds too good to be true, it probably
is." That's why I called Atlanta in the first place, instead of
e-mailing Asia. It gives a new meaning to an old cartoon series - Hong
Kong Phooey.
E-MAIL UPDATE: Now for a message that seems much more legitimate....
I sent this to the Editor of the Ledger but I've heard that a lot of
people are turning to your blog for news as well. So I thought you
might be interested too.
The article about the movie "In the Valley of Elah" [28-29 Nov]
pointed out that filming won't take place in Columbus. However that
doesn't mean the city will be overlooked entirely.The Davis family has
been shattered by this murder. In the process they've encountered good
people who have tried to help them through the heartbreak the best
they were able. Unfortunately with a tragedy of this kind there is no
"getting over it" so even good people get tired of the strain. As a
result proper justice has been slow and the public has been deprived
of a good deal of the truth.
There is one lady that has never stopped pursuing truth and fairness
in relation to this crime since becoming involved. Writer Cilla McCain
is a personal friend of mine and shows unwavering devotion to the
Davis family at a time when gruesome facts of this case has turned
otherwise caring people away. Cilla is from Columbus so even though
the movie is not being filmed here we can still be proud to have such
a wonderful lady representing our town. She has consistently shown the
Davis family the honorable qualities people in Columbus are really
made of, a trait that's not always forthcoming by some of our city
leaders. While investigating information for her book she has never
failed to involve Richard's family in new discoveries and having real
answers has eased their suffering. Like Elah's Charlize Theron,
Cilla's beauty is distracting and at first glance you think she is
just a sweet southern belle who could never even raise her voice. But
this elegant lady is a beautiful person both inside and out and is a
true "Steel Magnolia" I'm proud she's my friend and Columbus is lucky
to have her in our corner.
James Baxter
Columbus, GA
I haven't met Cilla McCain, so I can't speak to whether her "beauty is
distracting" or not. But I'm reaching the point where I wouldn't mind
being seen at a party with Ugly Betty.
If you've turned to this blog for news, I suppose I'd better give you
some from Thursday:
+ A seven-hour search for a missing Hannan Academy student ended when
she was found safely with her mother in Griffin. A fellow student
reported a young man took the girl - but police say that "man" turned
out to be the mother's lesbian lover. C'mon, ladies! At least follow
Ellen DeGeneres's beauty example....
+ The Ledger-Enquirer reported the proposal for a veterans' care
center in Box Springs has been withdrawn, in the wake of public
protests. Can't you hear the Talbot County residents now, singing
"When Johnny Goes Marching Out"?!
+ Auburn University's Student Government Association let its
traditional campus tree. This year, the event was billed as a "holiday
celebration, featuring a Christmas tree." I've never before seen a
ceremony of this type put on the level of a recording with Carlos
Santana.
+ Georgia prosecutors announced every college student in the state
will receive an e-mail, warning of the potential risks of
methamphetamine. This idea is SOOOO 1999. Wouldn't it be more
effective to send a cell phone text message - maybe about 11:30 on a
Friday night?
+ Sumter Regional Hospital released a report showing its impact on the
Americus area's economy comes to about $128 million per year. I never
realized so many people were getting hurt, building Habitat for
Humanity houses.
+ Former U.S. Senator Max Cleland announced he will NOT run in 2008,
in a possible rematch with Georgia's Saxby Chambliss. Somewhere today
a newspaper headline will read: "SAXBY - MAX WON'T BE."
+ Instant Message to whomever checked our blog from Tehran, Iran: We
don't know who you are -- but we're going to assume you work for the
government, and you're looking for one-liners about President Bush.
There's no possible way you're a U.S. secret agent plotting an
overthrow, right?!?!
Thousands of visitors read this blog every month, in Columbus and
around the world. To advertise to them, offer a story tip or comment
on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment
and offer a reply.
BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 4144 (+ 164, 4.1%)
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